How to say Fuck You to The World

We all know those days; getting up, sluggishly. Dragging yourself to the shower. Slowly. Mustering all the available focus to turn on the coffee machine and wait for the ancient dark magic of said elixir to take hold of body and soul. Rise and shine.

What next? Oh yes, of course: the uneventful and monotonous, mostly robotic commute to an overly lit office full of cubicles and teeming with the sound of typing keyboards at 8 in the morning.

Could it get worse? Certainly. Did you already forget about the excruciating meeting to discuss X while listening to asshole boss boast about golf course Y. Huh. Follow it up with a repetitive sales call with a demanding client who goes off on the one shipment that arrived 2 hours late than originally expected.

At lunch, thoughts of deepthroating the good metaphorical shotgun amass in that little migraine-ridden head of yours. Remember: it’s only half day, on a Monday.

May I propose a simpler, easier and more effective solution? A formula ancient alchemists fought wars over, the key to life and the pursuit of happiness.

Repeat after me: Fuck. You. All.

Do it again: Fuck. You. It. The World. All.

There you go. Let waves of ease wash over your tense shoulders as you experience clarity of mind. What are you, you tiny homo sapiens and at least 1% primitive ape, to the universe after all? Nothing. You are nothing. I’m nothing. We are but a speck of stellar dust floating…